went forward into the future
sat by a fire in the cold cold woods
step by step
fell back into the past
plan by plan
now am in the future,
but am more or less,
where i was
when i was in the future in the past
(15 July 2017) At the end of sustaining resistance I took part in a future ritual:
walking clockwise through days /seasons / years until you stop. 3 years ahead.
WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT CAN YOU SEE? Draw a picture
Jump back : 1 jump per year: working backwards, what are the things happening in this future??
Creating SMART GOALS to work towards this future image... I AM Statements.
writing them down and keeping them safe somewhere
REFLECTING ON THESE GOALS
I was surprised working through these pieces of paper, how many of them had clearly been a part of my experience over the last 3 years. Some feel like they have been part of my experience and now feel very far away. Others feel like they have fully integrated into my life. Some i feel confident at at times, and not at all at others. (They are also not particularly SMART goals - more intentions.)
GOALS IN EXISTENCE / have happened /accessible at times
(Definitely wanting to keep working with/maintaining a lot of these practices.)
More able to share (via speech, text email etc) when I have experienced something difficult in relation to a person.
I let people know when they have said or done something that hasn't felt ok for me.
I can enter into conflict with others, give and receive feedback
I am confident and clear in expressing my boundaries
I am surrounded by a community of inspiring supportive people. & I am around men who care about gender equality and understand these complexities.
I am drawing, painting, creating, collaborating, and using colour.
I have finished illustrating a book
I am practicing and learning about embodiment practices.
I am playing games with groups
I have been collaborating and facilitating as a part of LiC
I am developing and creating courses
I am teaching and facilitating
I have spent time developing my samadhi practice and can tap into a sense of wellbeing
I am having mentoring with my teacher.
I am deepening my meditation practice. And have a daily practise.
I am learning to teach meditation
I have been on a 4 month retreat at Gaia house.
I am growing food / keeping ducks - my ducks got eaten by a fox :(
I am spending time in the natural world
I spend an hour or more gardening / growing / harvesting in the garden 3 times a week. - no but foraging often in the spring/summer
GOALS to continue working with...?
I am earning more than enough money (I am earning enough but not much)
my self confidence is strong. (I dont feel this at all at the moment - currently studying work around the inner critic and complex PTSD to work towards this) I spent a year studying at the wilderness awareness school. (this feels irrelevant) Integration is full of ease (I'm not sure what this means but i don't feel it right now) My life is full of inner stillness and Joy (sometimes but not right now) I am meeting many of my own needs (i dont think I want to be doing this in the way i meant it back then) I feel emotionally authentic and stable (i don't feel particularly emotionally stable at the moment, but have done over the past 3 years, am definitely more authentic)
THE NEXT FUTURE....
Would like to set an intention to redo this practice & ritual, for the next few years. Although I don't have the energy or strength to commit to this now, my intention is set.