• Lauren Goodey

now am in the future



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went forward into the future

sat by a fire in the cold cold woods

ppl around

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step by step

fell back into the past

plan by plan

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now am in the future,

lost

but am more or less,

where i was

when i was in the future in the past

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each piece of paper represents a step, a goal, an intention

THE PRACTICE

(15 July 2017) At the end of sustaining resistance I took part in a future ritual:

  • walking clockwise through days /seasons / years until you stop. 3 years ahead.

  • WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT CAN YOU SEE? Draw a picture

  • Jump back : 1 jump per year: working backwards, what are the things happening in this future??

  • Creating SMART GOALS to work towards this future image... I AM Statements.

  • writing them down and keeping them safe somewhere

REFLECTING ON THESE GOALS

I was surprised working through these pieces of paper, how many of them had clearly been a part of my experience over the last 3 years. Some feel like they have been part of my experience and now feel very far away. Others feel like they have fully integrated into my life. Some i feel confident at at times, and not at all at others. (They are also not particularly SMART goals - more intentions.)


GOALS IN EXISTENCE / have happened /accessible at times

(Definitely wanting to keep working with/maintaining a lot of these practices.)

RELATIONAL SKILLS

  • More able to share (via speech, text email etc) when I have experienced something difficult in relation to a person.

  • I let people know when they have said or done something that hasn't felt ok for me.

  • I can enter into conflict with others, give and receive feedback

  • I am confident and clear in expressing my boundaries

  • I am surrounded by a community of inspiring supportive people. & I am around men who care about gender equality and understand these complexities.

ART

  • I am drawing, painting, creating, collaborating, and using colour.

  • I have finished illustrating a book

GROUP SKILLS

  • I am practicing and learning about embodiment practices.

  • I am playing games with groups

  • I have been collaborating and facilitating as a part of LiC

  • I am developing and creating courses

  • I am teaching and facilitating

MEDITATION

  • I have spent time developing my samadhi practice and can tap into a sense of wellbeing

  • I am having mentoring with my teacher.

  • I am deepening my meditation practice. And have a daily practise.

  • I am learning to teach meditation

  • I have been on a 4 month retreat at Gaia house.

NATURE BASED

  • I am growing food / keeping ducks - my ducks got eaten by a fox :(

  • I am spending time in the natural world

  • I spend an hour or more gardening / growing / harvesting in the garden 3 times a week. - no but foraging often in the spring/summer

GOALS to continue working with...?

I am earning more than enough money (I am earning enough but not much)

my self confidence is strong. (I dont feel this at all at the moment - currently studying work around the inner critic and complex PTSD to work towards this) I spent a year studying at the wilderness awareness school. (this feels irrelevant) Integration is full of ease (I'm not sure what this means but i don't feel it right now) My life is full of inner stillness and Joy (sometimes but not right now) I am meeting many of my own needs (i dont think I want to be doing this in the way i meant it back then) I feel emotionally authentic and stable (i don't feel particularly emotionally stable at the moment, but have done over the past 3 years, am definitely more authentic)

THE NEXT FUTURE....

Would like to set an intention to redo this practice & ritual, for the next few years. Although I don't have the energy or strength to commit to this now, my intention is set.