Lauren Goodey
  • Art
    • Current
    • A Proper Winter 2018
    • Swedish Stories 2017
    • DRAWINGS 2014 - 2017
    • Architectural Studies 2011 - 2012
  • Blog
  • Projects
    • Holistic Learning Handbook
    • Building systems of support
    • Land in Curiosity
    • Frome Insight Meditation
  • About

EXploring Rest & Recovery

10/1/2020

1 Comment

 



Sleep has often met my need for rest, but last year,
i found myself burnt out.


⚡️? ?⚡️??

I found that it didn’t matter how much i slept, i was still exhausted.

What i didn’t realise was that being part of a project where i cannot step back from responsibility is an incredibly exhausting thing for me, and no matter how much i slept, what i really needed was to be irresponsible, to spend time away, where i could fully focus on my self and what i needed.

So i decided to take some time off to recover.


?〰️?〰️?〰️?

Just as I was making this decision, I found a post on Instagram

--------------------->
 
"Nine types of rest" which is based on Enneagram types.

It helped me to question some of my assumptions about rest.

It helped me to understand that the reason I was so exhausted was not because i hadn’t been sleeping enough, but because I hadn't been taking care of all of the different types of rest i needed.


Tiredness walked along my eyes
----------------------------------
with secrets.
----------------------------------
I got enough rest - in hours
----------------------------------
But rest isn’t something for everyone.

Picture
????????

  • I needed to be irresponsible.
  • I needed to be alone.
  • I needed space from relationships I was struggling with, to be able to work out what was going on for me.
  • I needed time away.
  • I needed to be away from spaces that exacerbated my trauma responses.
  • I needed space to process my emotions.
Picture


It can be really fucking hard to rest, to take time off, when there are expectations flying at us from everywhere.



So I decided to put together my own list...

My resting needs.


????????????????????????????????

RETREATS (specifically silent meditation retreats) offer me many types of rest: time away from talking and being sociable. A lot of space to process emotions and build awareness of emotional patterns. A break from the internet, phone, computers, work, shopping, cooking, making decisions, etc. A place to build internal resource and connection, a link into my spirituality

I need to do this every other month, whether its a short solo retreat or a longer teacher led one.


SOLITUDE being alone, not having to think about anybody else, not having to respond, not having to do anything i don’t want to do for fear/guilt/expectation of anything.

I need this pretty much every day, even if its for a few hours. I also really appreciate solitary retreats, they can be challenging but rewarding to find out who i am when i am not constantly navigating the world of relationship.


NATURE is a relief, to be outside, in a landscape, connecting to the earth, the beings who live on earth and the sky, whether it’s sleeping out under the stars, an afternoon slumber in the forest, a long wild walk in the wind, alone or with others, it can recharge, refresh, enliven, nature is rest.

I need this every day, even in small doses, even if its just sitting in the garden to say hi to the birds and the moon or going for a small walk.
Picture

SLEEP & NAPS ????? are so important, and so good. I love letting everything go for the day and getting lost in the night. Naps can be the best, for pure pleasure, or for catching up on sleep.

I need this EVERYDAY! Sleep at least, and I love to nap too, generally i need around 8-9 hours of sleep a night, I can thrive of off  7 1/2 hours in the summer, with naps.


SPACE TO PROCESS EMOTIONS is vital, when i don’t get to process emotions, work out whats going on and find ways to untangle the messiness that triggers and reactions and trauma can build, i don’t function in ways that express how i want to show up in the world. Even just being aware of how I am can help. Meditation and retreats are my main way to do this, so are check ins, with others and my self. Journalling and creating art are amazing ways to do this. And finding support from a friend who is willing to listen.

I need this every day, in different ways, sometimes I need a lot of this and sometimes less.


BEING AWAY FROM TRIGGERS  While i want to be able to appreciate people in their differences, I seem to hold an internal belief that i ‘should' be able to hang out with whoever, whenever for an unlimited amount of time. I can’t do this. I end up having to avoid people as i don’t have the emotional capacity to be around them any more. When I am well resources i can spend time with anyone, and am able to share how their actions impact me. I cannot be well resourced if i spend a lot of time around people who trigger me, especially when there is trauma involved. I find this to be true especially amongst people who have privilege. And especially around men who are unaware of the effect their actions can have.

I need to be reflecting on my relationships often, how they are serving me, where i need space, having clear boundaries and limiting time with some people.


ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES to be clear about and communicate: what i need; when something is not ok for me and i’m not willing to do it; how long i can be around people until i need space etc.

This is an ongoing process, Some boundaries are strong and lasting, some seem to come and go like waves.


NOT WORKING: taking time off, a day, a week, a month, a year?!?! Time to relax, rest, to be ill, to have a breakdown, to get creative, to question, to learn something else, to ask whats next.


TIME AWAY from anything can be so helpful to reflect on what i love about something and what i don't, where i need to make changes and establish boundaries. It can be hard to reflect in these ways in the midst of something, especially if it involves difficult emotions and relationships.

This is relevant in certain situations, and it can be hard to remember to do this.


MEDITATION is a way to create space, to drop into my body and to move away from avoidance of emotions, a way to build my capacity to support myself and others, it creates a bit more space in my day to be able to respond to things rather than react.

I need to do this every day.
Picture

BODY CONTACT can be so deeply restful, to have safe body contact, to cuddle, to be close to people. Sometimes my body asks for this, craves it: whether its snuggling up to a friend whilst watching a film, linking arms whilst walking down the street, spending the night sleeping close with a friend or lover, cuddles with cats, it’s rest.

I need to have regular safe body contact that comes from different people.


DISTRACTION can be so helpful if its done skilfully. Like watching TV when i feel like shit and just need a break, its great way to rest, as long as its part whole system that is also focused on processing emotions. (Sometimes i go to distraction for too long, it becomes avoidance and my series watching addiction kicks in, this is not so fun. and much more stressful than restful.)

I need this sometimes, maybe on average once a week, with an awareness of addictive patterns.


HAVING NO RESPONSIBILITIES like no cooking, people to look after, things to have to think about, “permission to be not helpful”. Working in a job = going home and not having to do anything related to that job. At home = letting everyone know I am not doing anything today, asking for support in this.

This is relevant when I am holding a lot of responsibilities,
Picture
Here are some important questions to consider...

  • What types of rest do you need?
  • How often do you need them?  
  • How do you build these things into your life?
  • What things do you believe about yourself when you make space to rest?
  • How do you start to unbind the narrative that you "should' be doing things all the time to prove your worth?

??????????????????

If i slow down,
life around
slows down
too.

1 Comment
Hana
8/1/2021 09:20:15 am

i love this so much, lauren! i just remembered this and wanted to remind myself how important it is to rest and slow down <3

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Posts

    Herbal study 2: Plant Science (part 2)

    Herbal study 2: Plant Science (part 1)

    Herbal study 1: History, Scope and Philosophy (Part 2)

    Herbal study 1: History, Scope and Philosophy (Part 1)

    Cricieth: Walking, the in-between & Now (Part 4)
    ​
    Penychain & Aberech Sands: Walking, the in-between & Now (Part 3)

    Borth-Y-Gest: Walking, the in-between & Now (Part 2)

    WALKING, THE IN-BETWEEN & NOW
    (Part 1)


    NOW AM IN THE FUTURE

    EXploring Rest & Recovery

    Instructions on posture in meditation

    Stop! in the name of love

    AWAKENING JOY: gratitude

    Awakening joy: Mindfulness

    Awakening Joy: Intention

    Land in curiosity: Meet Emergent Strategy

    ApocaLICpse

    Walking home, Walking alone.

    Trying to make Barista oatmilk (part 2: Defeat)

    Trying to make Barista Oatmilk (part one: Hope)

    Ki Ku

    Land in Curiosity: Sweden 2017

    Sustaining Resistance: Regenerative Activism.

    Creating Regenerative Communities: exploring the elder archetype with Elderventure

    South West Waste & Recycling Forum: Presentation

    An Employee's Journey
    Land in Curiosity - Two Moors Way

    Classroom Alive Boot camp

    The Frome Times - my first ever press release!

    Of Hermits and Lovers; The Alchemy of Desire

    Restorative Justice Level 1 training

    Path of the imaginal home study

    Spiderweb leadership programme

    Love Ceremony

    Sensual Mastery - Weekend 3

    A month on silent retreat at Gaia House

    Art of mentoring weekend

    Embodiment learning for coaches @ The Salt House

    Sensual Mastery - Weekend Two

    Dragon Dreaming @ Edventure:Frome

    Sensual Mastery - Weekend One

    Coiled basket making

    Spiderweb Programme for Inspiring leadership - Taster workshop at the saltbox

    Fostering peace in regenerative times: a weekend with Jon Young @ Schumacher college

    Young persons meditation group - June 2016

    Beyond right and wrong - with Jo Berry

    Art as ritual with John Harrigan from Foolish People

    Group Dynamics - Workshop @ Edventure

    Meeting the wild - Ecodharma May 2016

    Jamie Catto - Transforming Shadows

    Camino de Santiago 2016

    Catalyst Course Back rowing April 2016

    Frome Young Persons
    Meditation Group March


    Moving Forward

    Understanding Power Workshop @ Edventure

    Frome Young Persons
    Meditation Group Feb

Copyright © 2020
  • Art
    • Current
    • A Proper Winter 2018
    • Swedish Stories 2017
    • DRAWINGS 2014 - 2017
    • Architectural Studies 2011 - 2012
  • Blog
  • Projects
    • Holistic Learning Handbook
    • Building systems of support
    • Land in Curiosity
    • Frome Insight Meditation
  • About